fic rec (SGA): Freedom's Just Another Word For Nothing Left To Lose by synecdochic

[astridv]

Freedom's Just Another Word For Nothing Left To Lose by synecdochic
Spoilers: Through Season 2 and conjecture for the future.
Summary: SGC finally stops calling him by December. Rodney celebrates by writing a final exam for his relativity class so difficult that it reduces four students to tears in the exam hall. Upon reflection, he decides to be merciful and offer partial credit.
19,350 words

Achingly beautiful, this is one of the best pieces of fanfic I've ever read, across fandoms. I saw this story rec'd in several places but was at first hesitant to read it, because I knew it involved major character death. But that's not what this story is about. For me, it's about hope (if I want to put it in one word, which I really can't because it wouldn't do it justice). The prose is clear and perfect, and the plot drew me in right from the first paragraph. I had a knot in my stomach the entire time while reading it, and was incapable of putting it down.

Comments

[lim.livejournal.com]

Hee! *reading*

Us is about Soviet Russia and the US, AFAIK. Regina Spektor is a Russian emigre (she emigrated to New York at nine or ten). If you imagine the two parts as being two characters looking at the 20th century, from both ends of it? You can possibly characterise the "rummaging for answers" chorus as the post-communist US immigrant experience and the "they named a city after us" verses as being from the Bolshevik POV. Is one way to read that song, anyway. Personally I heard it and went, omg, it's US. *grins* Er, obviously.

However! Actually I did make a vid about Syne's Freedom... and possibly this is what MakD was referring to (I dunno, but it seems likely), which uses another Spektor song, On the Radio: This is How it Works (http://www.kekkai.org/lim/index.html#tihiw) (don't feel obliged to watch it).

[astridv.livejournal.com]

Us is about Soviet Russia and the US, AFAIK.

Okay, I never would've guessed that.

which uses another Spektor song, On the Radio: This is How it Works (don't feel obliged to watch it).

I swear, I was just about to email you about that vid. Actually this is how I came across "Freedom" in the first place... I'd watched "My brilliant idea" and saw TIHIW at your site, so I thought I'd try another SGA vid. I didn't understand it, not having read the fic or watched the show. But I took note of what fic it was about and it was nagging in the back of my head. So after I'd finally read the story, I dl'ed the vid and the text of the song. Wow. It's absolutely amazing, how the sentiment of the story is echoed in the vid. Like this part:

But he's not. He's really not, because he submerged himself in all of it with his eyes wide open, and it might be romantic to say something like a piece of his heart was ripped away, but it would also be wrong. He has the memory of seven years of working side-by-side, of five and a half years of some of the happiest days of his life even interspersed with the moments, the days, the weeks of sheer terror, and in the end, it's enough. It always was.

Five and a half years of loving someone, of being loved, as much as you can love in the city on the edge of forever, which is sometimes too much and sometimes not enough at all. They'd both known how it could end at the very beginning, and Rodney had made his choices and let everything change him without once looking back. To say it was all worth it trivializes something so profound he knows he will never have the words to articulate it.

So when the song got to this part:
this is how it works
you're young until you're not
you love until you don't
you try until you can't
you laugh until you cry
you cry until you laugh
and everyone must breathe
until their dying breath

this is how it works
you peer inside yourself
you take the things you like
and try to love the things you took
and then you take that love you made
and stick it into some--
someone else's heart
pumping someone else's blood

... all the feelings I felt when reading the story came rushing back. It's very powerful, and visually interesting as well. (Just one question... what do the numbers mean?)

[lim.livejournal.com]

Just one question... what do the numbers mean?

*dies* You know, I still have (http://lim.livejournal.com/413.html?thread=139421#t139421) no good answer (http://kekkai.org/lim/vidnotes.html#tihiw) to that question. I'm very very bad at explaining myself. I can't translate.

Thanks for these comments, though, mate. They're golden. *loves them*

[astridv.livejournal.com]

It's the music being expressed through numbers... The heartbeat of the vid/the world/the thing.

Actually, no, that makes sense. "Math, Music, and Physics"... It's an fascinating relationship. Not one I can claim to understand, mind. But I've kind of been intrigued by the idea since I read Douglas Adams' 'Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency'.

(I wish our music class at school hadn't sucked so bad.)

Btw, regarding what you say in that comment about bandwidth... would you prefer if I only link to your imeem site when I rec a vid? I've included the download links because I like to watch vids from my own computer, but I can edit them out; just let me know.

[lim.livejournal.com]

Oh, hey, well, if you're into that kind of thing you should read Godel, Escher and Bach, An Eternal Golden Braid. It will blow your mind.

Oh, it's ok to link to that site, I think (you know, in fandom circles). kekkai/lim is from after that conversation. It's not really mine-mine (no way could I afford bandwidth!). Syne hosts me and she has loads of bandwidth. But thanks for asking; it's really considerate of you.